I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
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