And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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