Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
