Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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