Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
