i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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