at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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