Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
