The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
