On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize