I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
