I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
as a side note pls kill me
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
