I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
