saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
