I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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