Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
