We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
