I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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