Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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