Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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