K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
my liver is dry heaving
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
