so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
