So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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