i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
