I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
