No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
You smell like stripper and shame
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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