I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
