mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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