am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
