HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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