my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
