4 words: hood of his car
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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