Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
