I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
