I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Randomize
