So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
