I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
