I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
