Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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