I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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