I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
