we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
