I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize