My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
