You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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