like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
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