she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
