Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Boobs speak an international language.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
