if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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