Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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