Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
