I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I am naked and annoyed.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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