I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
