yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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